Where do I begin? So much has happened since the last time I wrote a post! The last many posts were from my Instagram account were I’ve been writing and posting more. It is now time to get back to writing here as well as I also will be starting another new post / podcast this coming year.
Firstly I want to start off by saying with all which is going in the world today is:
Be PRESENT to TODAY as you continue living and doing your BEST today! Do not give into FEAR or ANXIETY about what the future might or might not contain! What is SO WILL BE SO! Again, do the best you can today knowing you are not alone!
The honest truth is I started writing this post back in March of 2019… so now it is time to get this post finished and published.
Towards The Beginning…
Every morning, months before I started my journey, upon waking up, the first thoughts going through my mind were, while still laying down, “I did it again! I woke up this morning! I survived the night… BUT is today going to be the day I leave this earth life?” When praying to Heavenly Father (God), I would ask him to please help me to lose weight but nothing was happening… well something was happening, the opposite… I was continuing to gain weight! Moments before kneeling down, by my bedside, on a pillow, my mind would be filled with pain and sorrow feeling as if I was all alone in life! What I was feeling I felt I could not talk to others about as they would then either look at me differently or worse, not want to talk to me again! So I fought this battle in my mind… especially when I just stood there in the morning feeling my heart pump rapidly just standing there doing nothing!
As I stood there, fear would flow in to my mind, deep in to the mind as dark clouds continued to form around the light I had within that I felt at the time I no longer had! Fear of uncertainty! Fear of the unknown! Fear of the future and what this future life held for me! Fear of facing people, especially assuming what people were thinking and saying about me when I was not present about how I looked and how could someone get to be so very large?
Those were so very dark times and days for me… I could get so much more into depth but that would require you to read for hours! What I write is only the a small little part of what was going on deep with my mind…
Being On TV
As I said, so much has happened in my life since I last wrote… this feels like a dream now…
Youtube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oHzQXicU_o
Truth be spoken here… At the time I went on on the show, Face The Truth, I felt like a fraud! WHY? I honestly felt I did nothing other then started eating clean, exercising and a little bit of clearing the mind. I saw other people being excited about what I had done but I didn’t feel it! I honestly felt what I did anyone could do. Doing what I did, didn’t make me anything more then what other people were!
I only told a few people I was going to be on TV. Looking back, I also felt like a fraud because I had started to gain some weight back at the time. I wasn’t as thin as I had gotten. Plus, who would want to hear what I had to say because of this! So in the video and what I shared is the again things I went through!
Over the past few years I have gained weight back but it is NOW TIME to LET THE OLD STORIES GO as I move forward in life… as I stand firm on the ground BELIEVING and LOVING who I AM, a son of GOD… of our Heavenly Parents!
We all go through what we go through to learn and go! I choose to share what I’ve been through and continue to go through! So the journey goes on today… I continue on my journey to eat clean (I never stopped doing this but I did start eating emotionally), exercising daily, reading the scriptures and praying, meditation, going through some movements (yoga flows).
The Journey Continues On
I continue to RISE UP FROM THE DARKNESS as I let go of the past, let go of old stories of who I thought I was to others as I continue to learn to LOVE WHO MICHAEL TRULY IS and most importantly continue to learn to LOVE MYSELF even more… especially with the special LOVE I now have within my life who is just beyond amazing and so very special!
Fear no more! Why do you feel the need to be fearful?
Love who you are… Love all the flaws… Our Heavenly Parents LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE!
Let go of doubt! Why hold onto doubt? Let go as you set yourself FREE!
More to come soon… Especially with what I will be coming out soon from myself…
Love you all! I send you each a HUGE STRONG HUG (those of you who know me know this hug)!