Reflections Of The Past

My journey for becoming healthier continues to move forward with great success! I continue to clear my mind of ‘clutter’ built up from decades of self-doubt, feeling inadequate, feeling alone, etc. Yes, I grew up in a large family and I love them dearly! While in my younger years it was my love of family, my love of church, my love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which gave me the courage to move forward. It wasn’t till later in life, after certain events happened where I finally slowly broke down inside. This is when I turned to food for comfort. I am thankful to know God, my family and others love me. It was my family and the Gospel of Jesus Christ who gave me the strength to hold on to the side of the wall while being in the deep waters of despair…

No matter where you are in your life or what you’ve been through in life I want to let you know you are Not Alone! Our minds are powerful, very powerful! They are great at creating stories which we start to believe are true! We all go through life events and some events are life changing. While growing up something great or bad may happen to you. Depending on what the event was your mind will want to either protect you from something ever happening again or you proceed with life as if nothing ever happened. I can tell you there were many things which happened in my earlier years I always kept to myself and I always thought that is what life is and was.

I am clearing my mind of this clutter I’ve collected over the many years! I am finding and going to these main event(s) (the root event) which took place in my early years of life. Once finding them I am excepting them so I am able to move on in life. I thought life was great months after starting on this journey, now I am finding life is even greater than I ever realized!

Overcoming Fears

I accomplished yet another feat on December 27, 2015! This was a huge one for me! I was asked to speak in church, to our congregation for 10 – 12 minutes. The last time I spoke in public, to a church group was 20 years ago. I’ve been asked to speak in church over the years but I always decline and say no. So when I was asked to speak I didn’t say yes or no at first! Deep in my mind I wanted to say Yes but something was still holding me back so I told them I would need to check with my family first as it was Christmas weekend. After asking my family what would be happening on Sunday, Christmas weekend, they were then curious as to why I would be asking so I told them I was asked to speak in church. They all said that I should speak! I then made up my mind and called the person who asked me and I told them I would speak in church! I told them I was scared but I would do it! So, I did it, I spoke in church and delivered a great message! People come up to me afterwards to thank me and tell me I did a great job! Once more, I believe them and I know I did a great job!

From Planting a small Seed!

I continue to move forward on my journey of life. On September 2, 2014 I set one goal, to start eating clean for the month of September. I had no idea my entire life would change! From this one small event I have grown and branched out to accomplish much more than I ever realized I would! I urge you to hold on with all your might, mind and strength and fight for your life whatever it is you may be going through. God Loves you! People Love you! I Love you!  True I may have no idea who you are, but know this, this is why I write my blog, to enroll others, to give others inspiration because I want all people to succeed in life!

Realizing Truths

I would like to share with you the following from my journey entry:

October 26, 2015
As I walk toward the office building I work in after parking the car as far from the office I am able to I reflect on what I was able to accomplish thus far in the day. The time is a few minutes before noon in Southern California and the weather has been a bit abnormal, it’s about 80 degrees with 92% humidity as I look at the weather report on my cell phone. With the humidity so high it feels much warmer than 80 degrees! I continue to reflect on my day thus far, biked over 10 miles with a new trophy saying “This is a personal best for average speed!” which is 11.2 mph. I think to myself, “I did stay in a higher gear most of the time so the average speed was a bit faster than normal!” I’ve been lost in thought and I am now at the door to enter work so I proceed to enter. Upon opening the door, I am greeted by the sweet smell of sugary donuts. At this point in my life I have no desire to taste or even eat a doughnut but instead something else happens.

I am reminded of the days I would eat fast food! Strange thought I think to myself but it’s more than a thought I soon realize, it more of a revelation of when I went to get fast food. It was not me remembering how the food tasted but of what I was thinking when I was planning on what I would be ordering and what I would say when paying for the food.

What was revealed to me, something I never realized I was doing at the time, I was coming up with reasons why I was not just ordering Fast Food Meal number 1 but ordering Meal 1, with a few other things added to the order so I would be eating more food then I needed. The conversation going on in my mind when ordering ‘so much’ food went like this, “If they ask who is all this food for I will simply say I am ordering food for me and another person waiting back at the house (or work depending on the time of day)!” I knew I was order to much food and I was coming up with excuses to tell others why. I was coming up with lies in my head of what to say. They never asked but I was ready to blurb it out if they ever did ask!

* * * * * * * * *

Tell next time I ask you to write down all you can of a fear, a doubt about yourself. Write down all your feelings about this fear or doubt. All you need to do is at this time is just write about and then put what you wrote in a safe place for now.

May your journey in life proceed with great wonders too!

  1. I’m glad of two things: 1) You’re dealing with the past by truly turning it into ‘the past’ and 2) you’ve mustered the virtue of courage and used it to speak at church. Both of these processes are on-going I’m sure, but you’ve broken through the barrier of each and I couldn’t be more proud of you!!!

    1. Thank you Dennis! So true. I am dealing with the past and ‘making it the past’ to move forward creating what I wish to create! As you said too, these are processes that will be on-going. With the help from all I will and can move forward.

  2. I enjoyed reading this blog post today. It has inspired me to keep moving forward. I am struggling ‘letting go’ of some things and have found my life severely altered because of another’s choices. However I know that I am not alone and I am reminded by your post that the mind is a powerful thing. It is true that living in the past doesn’t help us, it holds us back. Thanks for sharing your courage and being so transparent. You are an inspiration to so many.

  3. Michael, you may know this already but your talk on Sunday was a great inspiration to many. I for one appreciated your willingness to share very personal feelings talking about your experiences and how you grabbed a hold of those experiences and turn them around to the positive place you are now. I am so pleased for you personally that your feelings about yourself and your accomplishments bring you such satisfaction! I think it’s quite possible that you opened doors of possibility for others who heard you speak and also read this blog entry. Thank you for your willingness to be so open.

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